For over 20 years, I was part of Shepherd’s Chapel, drawn by its verse-by-verse teaching and distinctive interpretations that opened up what felt like hidden depths in the Bible—ideas like a “first earth age” where souls existed before creation, the Kenites as a unique lineage tied to evil, and a division between “elect” and “free-will” believers. It was exhilarating to feel like I was uncovering secret truths, and this sense of discovery shaped my early faith. But as I immersed myself deeper in Scripture, doubts began to surface. Some of Shepherd’s Chapel’s teachings seemed to stray from the Bible’s clear message, prompting me to question their foundation. My shift to Calvinism was more than a theological pivot—it was a life-altering encounter with God’s sovereign grace that brought clarity, peace, and a renewed trust in His Word.
The Draw and Doubts of Shepherd’s Chapel
Shepherd’s Chapel’s methodical approach to studying Scripture drew me in. The promise of exploring the Bible “chapter by chapter, verse by verse” resonated with my hunger to understand God’s Word. Teachings like the “first earth age”—a supposed pre-creation era where souls chose allegiance to God or Satan—offered a dramatic explanation for human existence. The idea that the “elect” earned their status by standing with God in that age felt empowering, suggesting I had a special role in God’s plan. Similarly, the concept of the Kenites as a deceptive group descended from Cain gave me a framework to understand evil in the world.
But as I studied Scripture more closely, these ideas began to unravel. The “first earth age” lacked clear biblical backing. Verses like Jeremiah 1:5 (“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”) and Ephesians 1:4 (“He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world”) were used to support pre-existence, but in context, they point to God’s foreknowledge and election, not a prior world where souls made choices. The notion that election depended on actions in a pre-existent age clashed with Romans 8:29-30, which anchors election in God’s purpose, not human effort. Likewise, the Kenite teaching, often linked to Jeremiah 24’s “bad figs,” felt forced when I read the passage—it’s about Judah’s exile, not a hidden evil lineage.
Most troubling was Shepherd’s Chapel’s view of God as operating in three “roles” rather than existing as three distinct persons, which leaned toward a non-Trinitarian perspective. This didn’t align with Matthew 28:19, where Jesus commands baptism in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, affirming their distinct yet unified nature. The more I wrestled with these teachings, the more I saw they relied on speculative leaps rather than the Bible’s straightforward meaning.
Embracing Calvinism: A Scriptural Foundation
My journey to Calvinism began when I stumbled across the five points of Calvinism, known as TULIP: Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints. Initially, “Calvinism” sounded rigid and deterministic, but as I explored it, I discovered a theology that harmonized with Scripture and deepened my awe of God’s grace. Each point reshaped my understanding of salvation, moving me from a works-based mindset to one rooted in God’s sovereignty.
Total Depravity: A Sobering Reality
Shepherd’s Chapel acknowledged human sin but framed it as manageable through right choices, particularly in the supposed first earth age. Calvinism’s doctrine of Total Depravity hit me like a revelation: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9). This wasn’t just about making bad decisions; it meant that sin had corrupted every facet of my being—mind, will, emotions, and desires—rendering me spiritually dead and incapable of choosing God on my own (Ephesians 2:1-5). Passages like Romans 3:10-12—“None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God”—underscored that my natural state was one of rebellion against God. This truth was humbling, stripping away any pride in my ability to earn salvation. It shifted my focus to God’s mercy, showing me that salvation begins with His initiative, not my effort. For someone who spent years striving to align with God’s plan through knowledge or choices, this doctrine was both sobering and liberating, as it placed all hope in God’s power to save.
Unconditional Election: God’s Free Choice
In Shepherd’s Chapel, the “elect” were those who earned their status by standing with God in a speculative first earth age, which felt like a form of salvation by merit. Calvinism’s Unconditional Election offered a radically different view: “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world… not because of our works but because of His own purpose and grace” (Ephesians 1:4, 2 Timothy 1:9). This meant my salvation wasn’t tied to any action—past, present, or pre-existent—but to God’s sovereign choice before time began. Romans 8:29-30 became a cornerstone, revealing that God’s foreknowledge and predestination flow from His eternal purpose, not my performance. This doctrine dismantled the anxiety I felt at Shepherd’s Chapel, where I wondered if I had done enough to be counted among the elect. Instead, it filled me with gratitude, knowing that God’s love for me was rooted in His unchanging will. It also deepened my trust in His sovereignty, as Romans 9:16—“It does not depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy”—became a comforting assurance that my salvation was secure in His hands.
Limited Atonement: Christ’s Intentional Sacrifice
Shepherd’s Chapel implied that salvation was broadly available to those who made the right choices, but it didn’t clarify the scope or purpose of Christ’s atonement. Calvinism’s Limited Atonement, or “definite atonement,” taught that Jesus died with a specific purpose: to secure salvation for His church, His elect (John 10:15, Ephesians 5:25). This wasn’t about limiting the value of Christ’s sacrifice—His death was sufficient for all—but about its intentional application to those God chose. John 17:9, where Jesus prays “for those whom You have given Me,” showed me that His work on the cross was purposeful, not a general offer dependent on human acceptance. This gave me profound assurance: Christ’s death wasn’t a gamble hoping I’d respond; it was a deliberate act to redeem me. For someone accustomed to Shepherd’s Chapel’s emphasis on human choice, this doctrine shifted my perspective from uncertainty to confidence, knowing that Christ’s sacrifice accomplished salvation for me personally, sealed by God’s eternal plan.
Irresistible Grace: God’s Compelling Call
Shepherd’s Chapel taught that we were chosen in the first earth age, and that God’s grace—often framed as an irresistible call—was reserved for the “elect Christians” who made the right decision by standing with God in that pre-existent era. This suggested that God’s grace was conditional, tied to a choice I supposedly made before my earthly life, and only those elect few received His compelling call. But this teaching faltered under biblical scrutiny. Scripture nowhere mentions a first earth age where souls made choices; instead, passages like Ephesians 1:4 and Romans 8:29-30 ground God’s election in His eternal purpose, not human decisions in a speculative pre-existence. The idea that grace is limited to those who earned it contradicts Romans 11:6, which states that grace is no longer grace if it’s based on works.
Calvinism’s Irresistible Grace offered a liberating alternative: “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him” (John 6:44). This doctrine taught that God’s call is sovereign and effective, not dependent on any prior human merit, whether in this life or a supposed earlier age. Acts 13:48—“As many as were appointed to eternal life believed”—showed that faith itself is a gift from God, not a reward for pre-existent loyalty. God’s grace doesn’t force but lovingly overcomes my sinful resistance, like a shepherd calling His sheep (John 10:27). This was a profound shift for me. At Shepherd’s Chapel, I felt burdened to prove I was among the elect who had chosen correctly long ago. Calvinism’s view of Irresistible Grace lifted that burden, showing that God’s call is universal in its power to save all whom He chooses, rooted in His love, not my actions. This truth replaced my striving with trust, assuring me that God’s grace was both free and unstoppable in drawing me to Him.
Perseverance of the Saints: Secure in God’s Grip
Shepherd’s Chapel’s distinction between “elect” and “free-will” believers left me uncertain about my standing with God, wondering if I could lose my salvation through wrong choices. Their view of perseverance was tied to assurance in having made the right decision in the first earth age, suggesting that my security depended on a pre-existent choice rather than Christ’s finished work on the cross. This teaching lacked biblical grounding, as Scripture never mentions a first earth age or ties salvation’s permanence to pre-existent decisions. Instead, passages like Romans 5:1—“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ”—emphasize that our assurance rests in Christ’s atoning work, not our own actions, whether in this life or a supposed prior one.
Calvinism’s Perseverance of the Saints offered unshakable assurance: “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of My hand” (John 10:28). Romans 8:38-39 reinforced this, promising that nothing—neither death, life, angels, nor demons—could separate me from God’s love. This doctrine didn’t mean I could live carelessly; rather, it called me to “work out [my] salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in [me]” (Philippians 2:12-13). It meant that God, who began a good work in me, would carry it to completion (Philippians 1:6). For someone who spent decades wondering if I was truly secure, this truth was transformative. It shifted my focus from anxiety about a mysterious pre-existent choice to confidence in Christ’s completed work, allowing me to live boldly for God, knowing my salvation rested in His faithful hands, not my faltering efforts.
A Profound Transformation
Calvinism reshaped my faith. At Shepherd’s Chapel, I often chased esoteric knowledge, hoping to prove my place in God’s plan. Calvinism turned my focus to God’s sovereignty and grace, freeing me from anxiety about my status as “elect” or “free-will.” I found peace in knowing God chose, saved, and would keep me. This shift also enriched my worship. As John Piper writes, “Clear knowledge of God from the Bible is the kindling that sustains the fires of affection for God” [1]. Studying Scripture became about beholding Christ’s glory, not decoding secrets.
Biblical Coherence
Calvinism’s strength lies in its alignment with Scripture’s full narrative. While Shepherd’s Chapel leaned on speculative ideas, Calvinism lets Scripture interpret itself. Romans 8 and Ephesians 1 show election is rooted in God’s purpose, not human actions in a pre-existent age. The Trinity, vital to Calvinism, shines in passages like Matthew 28:19 and 2 Corinthians 13:14, while Shepherd’s Chapel’s non-Trinitarian leanings falter. Calvinism’s focus on God’s sovereignty in salvation (John 6:44, Romans 9:16) reflects the Bible’s portrait of a God who saves by grace alone, unlike Shepherd’s Chapel’s emphasis on human choice in a prior age.
A New Path Forward
Leaving Shepherd’s Chapel after over 20 years was difficult—it meant parting with a community and ideas I once cherished. But embracing Calvinism anchored me in Scripture’s truth. It’s not about following John Calvin blindly; as R.C. Sproul says, it’s about biblical theology, not a man-made system [2]. Calvinism revealed God as sovereign, gracious, and faithful. If you’re grappling with Shepherd’s Chapel’s teachings, I urge you to test them against Scripture, like the Bereans (Acts 17:11). You may find, as I did, that the doctrines of grace offer a clearer, more biblical way to know God’s love and glory.
References
Piper, John, Desiring God (Multnomah, 2011), on biblical knowledge and worship.
Sproul, R.C., What is Reformed Theology? (Baker Books, 1997), on Calvinism as biblical theology.